Monday, July 7, 2008

THE GODS MUST BE CRAZY

It started off with rain, as it often does. My first ordeal of the day was AIMCAT, a test for MBA aspirants. The last two tests had been a respite from the nerve crackers, not this one. I was reminded of the depth of the troubled waters I am in. Rain did help to further the cause and dampen my spirits. As you'll later see, there is something about rain that puts things in random motion- be it the vehicular traffic on roads or the thought traffic in minds of people. It does not matter to many though- especially the busy and the practical. I have always wondered the meaning of the latter however, what it really means to be practical in life. Well, let’s just be practical about it. I mean, practical people don't carry emotional garbage in their minds and don't let any traffic jams happen in there. Sorry for the diversion. So, after being mauled and trounced in the test, I headed to a restaurant with a friend, as if to celebrate my 50(that’s quite nearly the score I’d got off 300 balls so to speak, Balls to Me!) The food was oily and bitter, thanks to a garnish of chicken bile in Murgh Masallam,or I would never have tasted venom and survived.

Anyways, so far so bad. Once back home I thought to reboot my mood by watching sports. It was an important day for sport lovers for two reasons :1.the Asia Cup final between India n Sri Lanka and 2. the Wimbledon final between Roger n Rafael, both were lined up for primetime. The Asia Cup final started earlier. I dint care to watch the 1st innings as I find cricket rather boring these days. So I worked my time out with the remote to find Star Sports where Wimbledon was being telecast. Not many people are avid tennis fans in this part of the world. Cricket is their religion- as was mine before I quit murti-puja of the men in blue. So I'd to manually tune the channel until I could strike an optimum balance between the grains and the noise.

The Match

The Wimbledon final was supposed to have started by six thirty had it not been for rain-delay. By now, Sri Lanka had started slogging in the penultimate overs of the cricket match(as if I cared!). I was dying for the spectacle in the All England Club to commence. After a few hiccups, the match finally started near seven or seven thirty. I don’t remember exactly when as my eyes were continually glued to the telly and it was quite a task to lift them up just to watch the living room wall clock.
The atmosphere in the centre court was ecstatic, with grey clouds hovering around still, wind blowing like a serpent, changing its directions- all symbolic of bigger things to follow. The grass looked a bit slippery, ringing warning bells to the fast movers on the court. The setting for the finale was absolutely perfect- a 15000 strong star studded yet emotive audience who’d paid as much as 5000 pounds for a pair of tickets, the media people with hundreds of cameras and flashlights, neatly dressed ball-pickers, expressionless referees with walkie talkies, experienced commentators dissecting player profiles, the who's who of the tennis fraternity, other celebs, friends and families of the two champions- all surrounding a lush green Wimbledon centre court, which in tennis lingo, is said to be the best place to win and also the best place to lose for anybody. Not anybody reaches the ground zero of tennis though, where careers are made and destroyed. But I am not talking about just anybody here. I'm talking about the two finalists, Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal who the crowd welcomed with a reverberating roar of cheers and applauses. Commentators grew hysterical from that point on with Viay Amritraj of the "ABC of tennis" fame even going on to analyse Federer’s coming out to the court ahead of Nadal !!

Until recently, Switzerland was known for its chocolates n watches, Spain for bull fighting n football. But it was all set to change soon as after Sunday, the two countries would be known more for their tigers, the powers that govern not just tennis but millions of minds that watch the game with bated breath, every time the titans clash.

Federer-Nadal contests have always proved to be ferocity v/s gravitas, style v/s substance and magic v/s logic, all rolled into a single package. This was no different but for the fact that both the players displayed all the above qualities at different points in the match, overcoming their self-imposed limits and venturing into uncharted territories never seen before.

One must mention that there's quite an interesting comparison between the two players. They're similar, yet they are different. Both measure 6 ft 1 in height yet one is muscular and the other is frail. Both don’t emote while playing, yet after winning a match, one simply throws his wristband to the crowd as the other throws himself over. Both are the best in their own right, yet one's the no.1 and other no.2. Both have stronger forehands yet one's left handed and the other is right handed. Both are chasing Borg's record, but of different kinds. Both have their heads held high in the clouds, but feet firmly footed- on grass for one, on clay for the other!! Both tend to get better with every passing game, yet one likes to stay put and deliver the winners while the other likes to run all around the park, wallowing in dust n sweat. One is elegant while the other powerful. One tricks while the other toils. And varyingly, one proposes while the other disposes. Die hard fans of the Spaniard are free to think of it as an analogy between man and God!!

On to the match, the 1st set was a repeat of Rolland Garros with Nadal having Federer completely out of sorts. The second set was no different and it seemed a humiliating straight sets loss for Federer was imminent. Lost he did, the 1st two sets 6-4 6-4 as Nadal continued to dig deep into Federer's weakening backhand. Never before in his entire career had the Swiss got 12 break points and converted only one. Both had a phenomenal winning streak before coming to this match. Federer had a 5 and a half year streak of 65 matches on grass. Moreover he was yet to lose a set this year and had lost just 3 sets in the last 3 years in Wimbledon-all to Nadal(unconfirmed data). Nadal too had an overall winning streak of 23 matches, winning most of them on clay.

Drama finally unfolded like a George Lucas flick, interspersed by.. rains(I told you). For some reason, every time rain delayed the match I would switch the tv off and whenever I turned it back on, the audio video lag would scare me, sending my thought traffic berserk, making me wonder whether the roar was for a Federer point or a Nadal one. Part One of the blockbuster was when Vampire Nadal sucked the blood out of a beleaguered Federer's neck, leaving him tottering at two sets down. It was however, Part Two, after the rain-break, that stole the show, when the Emperor struck back with vengeance. This really was the high point of the match, and for strange reasons. Never before had anyone seen Federer getting stretched to such an extent on grass. He was huffing, puffing panting, running and sweating. Yet only the acutest of observers would have noticed it as the Swiss always carries a band of icy coolness on his forehead that disguises the human he actually is. This was also the part when eventually the Duracell powered Nadal who otherwise appears tireless, suffered severe fatigue, more mental than physical though. The good and the bad thing about Nadal is that whenever u see him play, by the middle of the 1st set, he looks so tired as if he's playing the fifth one. Yet when he’s actually playing the fifth one, he looks so fresh as if he's just started off with the 1st set. Nobody ever wants to get into a rally with Rafa. The more you make him play, the more lethal he becomes, which's probably why it required Federer to use his deadliest weapon, the ace, to elude Rafa's magnetic racquet from heaving n slashing the ball. Federer served 26 aces in the match, most of them to make phenomenal comebacks. He saved two championship points in the third set and pulled off the tie breaker- stand n deliver style, thanks to those aces again.
So Part Two had the world no.1 clinching the 3rd and the 4th sets, both in tie breakers, as neither of the players found it possible to break the other's serve. Federer had an impressive tiebreaker record anyway. He still lived dangerously though, hanging on, game after game, raising calls that went IN(or OUT of!) his favour by a margin of not more than a millimeter. Just when it seemed to be the case of a brain-dead patient being supported by apparatus, life suddenly breathed in to Federer and the game he played after that would probably have cleared all the doubts regarding who really was the greatest men’s singles player of all times-so much so, that the standards defined by the likes of Borg n Sampras looked mediocre in retrospect. It was particularly the fourth set tie breaker that saw the god in Federer emerge out of nowhere and send Nadal spinning on his wheels. Then there were the rallies, that had the ball darting from baseline to sideline to baseline and so on. Heads turned and hearts beat fast and one would have thought that tennis was not a game for those suffering from spondilitis and heart disease. Rain came again with the scores tied at two sets two games a piece and deuce! Time for Part Three of the super flick…

Back in Karachi, by now India had lost the Asia Cup thanks to a "return to form" of our fabulous batting line up. I was obviously not bothered about it. I'd made my choice- already having asked God that if there had to be a shortage of supply of goodies for me that very day, then please grant me a Federer win and adjust everything else against it. I didn’t care what %ile I got.. There were 16 mocks still to go. I didn’t even care if India won or lost as cricket has become a weekend passtime nowadays, thanks to the multiplex gloss of T20, we don’t prefer the art movies of the yesteryears anymore( read ODI's n tests). Cricket fanatics, kindly forgive me for that!

Now back to tennis- the greatest game ever played. Those who did watch the final know I've a reason to say this. So, finally it was 6-6 in the final set and as per the rules there was not going to be any tiebreaker, something Federer has always been so good at. What a climax! In the latter half of the match Federer had always looked to have a slight upper hand even though the balance remained tantalizingly poised well till the very end. Both the players were merciless on each other as they raised further calls, this time desperate ones.7-6 7-7,8-7.. The cat n mouse game continued and it looked as if it'd never end. It was already nine in the night and the neon signs in London had started to glow. It was 4 hrs 46 minutes into the match when Federer failed to improvise the drift of the wind and lost two consecutive points of his own serve. As fans cried Roger in unison and Fed's own wife closed her eyes in sheer helplessness, Nadal fired a cross-court bullet by a flick off his wrist and Roger Federer was held listless. Serving for the match Rafa lost the 1st point as the god in Federer played his last magical shot, seconds before the gods up in heaven played dice with him, as he lost the match and the championship in what was the longest men’s final ever played at the Wimbledon.
Today, as I think of those defining moments of the final, I find my eyes moistened and my skin goosebumped. Wow! Was it just a tennis match? No, it wasn't. It was something else. Something language can't really describe. You have to feel it for yourselves. Nadal, when asked how he felt as he lay on ground after winning the match, replied, "it's very difficult to describe. Thank you!".. Fed n Rafa might not be so articulate in English as some of their other compatriots, yet their vague wordings expressed it all. Both were all praise for the way the other played. They might be the best of buddies off the court but one felt as if Nadal was more happy for the match finally having come to an end rather than for him becoming the Wimbledon champion! Even the smile on his face was overshadowed by the exclamation on his forehead. Still, bite he did, not just the golden trophy in his trademark style, but also a slice of Federer's glory. It's feared, this may mark a u-turn in Federer's illustrious career. A very strong comeback also can't be ruled out, such is the stuff legends are made of.
Those of you who didn’t watch the heavens being brought down to earth yesterday, may you rot in hell. Yet for those who did, don't u agree that irrespective of the result, it was tennis that emerged victorious. The game was lifted to new heights with yesterday's match and even Fed and Nadal would find it difficult to surpass those standards in the times to come.
There were quite a few moral lessons to be learnt from the match though..
1. A god is a god as long as he's not confronted by another.
2. Nobody is god and the One Who is plays dice to make sure of it.
3. Never lose hope in life. You can always make a comeback even from two and a half sets down.
4. Mental strength and not stroke of genius separates the grain from the chaff, the special from the ordinary.
5. You need not BE the best to BEAT the best.
6. Persistence pays, haste may lead to waste.
7. However much you change your lines of fate, after all, we are destiny's children.
8. Whatever goes up, must come down.

The Men’s Singles Wimbledon Final, 2008 was such an enlightenment that suddenly all those oft-repeated platitudinal quotations have started making sense to me: what Longfellow said about the lives of all great men, what Robert Frost said of the miles to go, what Shakespeare said about the world being a stage and may be also what GB Shaw said about cricket! Never mind.

For centuries, man has been smothered with change all around him but somewhere down his psyche, he hates it. That’s probably why most of us cling to an old pair of jeans even as the new one lies neatly folded in the wardrobe. Same applies to our other choices too. The one who rules is prayed to rule further as, all these years we had attached our own aspirations and desires with the crowning glory of the victorious. Their successes gave our whims n fancies wings of desire. We started relating to our idols so much that they became inseparable parts of our existence. Even today, that’s how a fan is born. That’s how the masses follow sports. That’s how the Mortal Gods are created. And, when the mental image we have of them changes in the real world, either we try to ignore it and pray for them, or worse still, when a string of failures takes the sheen away from those fallen idols, we shun them and adopt new idols to give our vulnerable egos a sense of undiminished false pride..And you know what, that’s how bloody life goes on. Not a very sporting people. Are we?

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Off the Mark

No April rain, no flowers' bloom,
No wedding Saturday within the month of June..
No summer's high, no warm July,
No harvest moon to light one tender August night..
No autumn breeze, no falling leaves,
Not even time for birds to fly to southern skies.
Stevie Wonder

The twelve months of the calendar, much like the twelve zodiac signs they roughly represent, are significantly different from each other. Not just in chronology but also in the way they affect our lives. June, for me is the month of contemplation. Pre-monsoon showers, retreating clouds, low pressure zones or westerly winds- who cares. It's about when most of Youngistan takes a break. Even some of our busier kins notches above in the hierarchy ladder climb down to join us on weekends and so it usually turns out to be the month of catching up, rejuvenating ties n taking a stroll down memory lane. This is one month, when I believe, a majority of us to the left of the generation wall would do well to remember, to reflect, on what their "click"-paced lives seldom allow them to- for unlike the laws of optics, real life witnesses a stark dilation between incidence and reflection. So, it's that time of the year when there are no festivals or any change of the calendar. Yet these are the moments when u must celebrate life and make resolutions u must keep, for when June arrives the next year, nostalgia will grip u firmly, with a nauseating sense of deja vu shuttling between the could be's and the would be's, the haves and the have-nots, of life. So folks, here I am getting off the mark, bitten by the blog bug and smitten by herd mentality- fishing and "reflecting" in shallow rain waters. I don't promise u continuance, the Osama way but I do promise u change, the Obama way.




This is the first one in the 'MORNING, NOON & NIGHT' Trilogy(though i'm not a Sheldon buff).








MORNING!!



"Goood Moorning, Indiyahh!!"...Yes, It's early morning, at least from a lay-man's(sic) perspective and I am sitting in my room- near the window, slurping a cup of stimulating lemon tea and soaking my lungs with intoxicating whiffs of air, that are carrying with them the smell of the mud and of the half-ripe mangoes, with little seasonings of a sweet bovine odour and that of a damp haystack, not to speak of my own caustic farts, thanks to last night's bonus helpings of chicken butter masala at a nearby engagement function of a distant relative. A squeaky clean roll of newspapers is lying beside, in the balcony, waiting for my lazy bum to come and collect it. Newspapers, hmmm. They certainly bear a one-to-one correspondence with mornings, in general. What better a way to start your day than by reading a newspaper and inundating your mind with countless reports of single celebs, double murders, triple party coalitions and so on. Media after all has rightly earned the label of the fourth estate. Which other organ of the state would otherwise break your window pane or peek through it. I don't blame the news-hawker though. I believe he's a real godsend. Who else on earth would wake up before dawn, crawl his way through the streets, and deliver your favourite tabloid right at your doorstep(or window pane!!) while you're still dozing off under the comfy confines of your quilt. And the poor chap does not even demand a paltry labour charge for it (though he does make other "adjustments" to your monthly bills quite often).Additional to the pains taken by him, is the importance of what he delivers. The newspaper!!! Buoy, I swear it is one heck of a multi-purpose commodity. The list of its usefulness goes from seeking knowledge to having fun and what not! Let's just spare a moment before we get ahead with our morning chores and see what a newspaper means to everyone in the family.

Kids:
-For details of summer camps and join the dots or find the difference sections.
-As a ready reckoner for all the soporific and weird programmes on Pogo clashing in timing with those of higher trp's on the other channels.
-To know about the latest offers on Milo, Lays' and the like.

Teenagers:
-For pics of national toppers in entrance exams and for ads of the coaching institutes of the same.And more importantly..
-For a desirable pic at an undesirable place: that of the ravishing girl next door who recently secured the highest aggregate in class XIIth board exams.
-Sports page, for the latesht hairshtyle of Dhoni.

Housewives:
-For tv listings of all programmes on primetime starting with the letter K.
-For Page 3 gossip about celebrity break ups and extensive research on what caused them.
-As a material for foiling parathas in long journeys.
-As a temporary replacement for the beautiful patch-work table-cloth while it has gone for dry cleaning.

The middle order(read age) heavy-bats (Dads, elder brothers and other goons):
- As an accessory to be taken to the loo.
-As a stress buster to vent pent-up frustration of job by crushing and folding it to an extent of virtual molestation.
-As a place to look out prospective grooms for their daughters or sisters and prospective companies/institutes for their sons or brothers.
-Also as a place to look at the quarterly losses of their own companies and hence for seeking prospective employers for themselves too.
-As a veil to hide the covert side glances at bagalwali Mrs.Pathak with khule fatak.
-As a notepad to scribble that important phone number of the property dealer, only to have an altercation with wife, later in the day, for having used it to wrap aloo parathas for Chunnu.
-In short, as a kit for total redemption in all walks of life. As you see, these obviously are the people most fond of newspapers.

Generation X:
Ah, I bet you waited for this. But don’t we all know what we use it for. Still, here goes.
-For enlightening our political viewpoints in an effort to actually have one.
-Sports page, for Ana Ivanovic's thighs and Roger Federer's demise.
-Ads, for updating our awareness about the latest gadgets n gizmos and for growing personal discontent over our current models, both at the same time.
-To look for alternate ways of earning a livelihood and new ways of spending money.
-Page three, to boost the power of imagination by a certain spread and use mechanism that also improves our hand-eye coordination to a great degree.

The oldies(grannas n grannies, supergrannas n supergrannies):
Well, grannies are usually the only lot who probably have absolutely nothing to do with a newspaper. Zilch. Yet for all those sexagenarians, octagenarians and beyond..
-As snacks for real-politik discussions on the Chaiwalah's termite ridden wooden benches.
-To attest and redraw their political biases by extracting between the lines tidbits.
-To look for that rare little column on the cinematic legends of their times, not in page 3 but in the obituary section.
- To wonder about the pace with which the world is leaving them behind and worse still, to look for healthy ways of life to control it from happening the other way round.
-Lastly, as a pal to spend their time with, bothering about everyone when almost nobody bothers about them.

Phew!!! So, the list took you some time to read. No wonder, It's quite sunny now. The middle order is taking guard at the crease(going to office) while the oldies are still busy with their running commentaries at Shibbu Chaiwalah's...

Mr.Mehta-"..Are sharmaji have some pakoras too"

Mr.Sharma-"Ha Ha... inflation has tied our hands Mehta ji, Aap hi khao"

Mr.Mehta-"Are hamara kya kharcha hai, this is all we spend apart from medical expenses"

Mr.Sharma-"Haan par ye UPA sarkaar bhi votebank politics khel rahi hai. Gawarment should listen to the left."

Mr.Mehta-"Relax sharma ji. Relax. Worrying about things is not going to change them. I think the BJP should come to power. UPA is a bunch of crooked blood-suckers. My son- wahi jo MLA hai, says things are looking positive"

While the talk was still on, a small Maruti Zen zipped past the tea shop, stomping a pothole near it and splashing filth all over Mr.Mehta's dhoti. Call it Mudslinging!!

Trivia: Ironiocally, zen in English also means being relaxed and not worrying about things that you can not change. Mr.Mehta surely knows. Also, hailed as their prized possessions, Maruti cars are often considered second bread winners of aspiring Indian middle class families.
(The car later entered the Assembly Building of the sprawling Secretariat Campus. It belonged to MLA, Mr.Rajneesh Mehta).

Back at home, I've just gorged on the breakfast prepared by my mother, who, by now is giving a piece of her mind to.. Chanda ki Maa, the bai. Well, if you are taking a break from work or are staying at home most of the time for any which reason, let me tell u that maid servants are as integral a part of the morning chores, as are newspapers. Even they are the news bearers(local ones) and work at the grassroot level. They seem to pick news up out of thin air or vacuum and disseminate it with an efficiency that will make the legendary Reuters turn within his grave. Where they differ from newspapers though is in attendance. Heavens forbid but if civil society was ever to have a finishing school for house-maids like there are for air hostesses, all of them would flunk badly on account of poor showing up.

Meanwhile, as their ad-libbing continues incessantly in the background, I turn on the television to give my indolent feet some inspiration to go to bath and set the pace for a quieter afternoon...!!

NOON follows soon... till then, let's have a nap!!